The People Who Help Shape Us
- Jun 15
- 3 min read
This morning I had breakfast with my former coach, Tony DiCello.
We've stayed in touch over the years, but as we sat talking about life, family, business, and everything that's happened since we last worked together, I found myself thinking about time. Tony coached me for about five years. Then I realized something I had never really thought about before. It's been about seven years since he was my coach. Seven years. That's a long time. Yet as we talked, I could still see his influence in my life. Not in a specific coaching call or a lesson I could recite word for word, but in the way I think, the standards I hold myself to, the questions I ask, and the way I approach life. Somewhere along the way, what he taught me stopped feeling like coaching and simply became part of who I am.
Before leaving for breakfast this morning, I sat down to write a note inside a copy of The 10-Year Letter that I planned to give him. As I thought about what to write, I found myself reflecting on the journey that eventually led to the book. What started years ago as a workshop became a process. That process became thousands of coaching conversations, workshops, stories, lessons, refinements, and real-life experiences. Over the last four to five years, those ideas were organized, challenged, expanded, refined, and eventually turned into a manuscript. Somewhere along the way, the workshop became a book.
As I handed Tony the book across the breakfast table, a thought crossed my mind that felt deeply true. Tony wasn't part of the workshop or the book. His contribution came years earlier. He helped shape the man who would eventually create both. That thought stayed with me on the drive home.
The older I get, the more I realize that none of us arrive where we are on our own. Along the way there are people who challenge us, encourage us, believe in us, hold us accountable, and sometimes see something in us long before we can see it ourselves. Some stay in our lives for decades. Others are there for only a season. Either way, their fingerprints remain. When I look back over my life, I can think of coaches, mentors, friends, family members, clients, and countless others who showed up at exactly the right time. Their influence isn't always obvious in the moment. Sometimes it takes years to recognize the role they played in shaping who we became.
This morning was one of those moments for me. It wasn't really about breakfast. It was a reminder of how grateful I am for the people who invested in my life when they had no idea where the journey would ultimately lead. It was a reminder that while the book may have my name on the cover, there are many people who helped shape the story behind it. And it reminded me that gratitude is best expressed while people are still here to hear it.
So today I'm grateful for Tony. Grateful for his investment, his belief, his challenge, and his influence. And grateful for the reminder that who we become is often shaped by people who were only part of a chapter, yet somehow leave an impact on the entire story.
Who helped shape the person you've become?
Hit reply and let me know.
I read every response.
A few weeks ago, I recorded my first YouTube video sharing the story behind The 10-Year Letter and why I felt compelled to write it. If you'd like to learn more about the journey, you can watch it below.
If you're ready to spend some time thinking about the person you're becoming and the future you're creating, I'd love to help.
Write a future you're excited to live.
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