The Freedom You're Actually Looking For

HAS MY DEFINITION OF FREEDOM CHANGED… AND HAVE MY DECISIONS CHANGED WITH IT?

​​Life has a way of changing what matters most. The question is whether our decisions change with it.

Every year around the Fourth of July, we celebrate freedom. We gather with family and friends, watch fireworks light up the sky, and take a few days to appreciate the sacrifices that made our country what it is today. I've always loved this holiday, but this year I found myself thinking about freedom in a way I never had before. Not as an American, but as a person. It led me to a simple question that has stayed with me ever since.

What does freedom actually look like?

If you had asked me that question ten years ago, my answer would have been very different than it is today. Back then, freedom meant having more control over my time, more financial security, more choices, and fewer limitations. Those weren't bad definitions. In many ways, they helped shape the life I've been fortunate enough to build. But one thing I've learned is that life has a way of quietly refining our definitions, if we're willing to pay attention.

When Life Redefines What Matters

Over the past several months, my definition changed again.

Recovering from cancer has been a humbling teacher. Finishing treatment wasn't the finish line I imagined it would be. Healing takes time. Some mornings, freedom has simply meant waking up with enough energy to enjoy the day. Going for a run. Sitting outside with Nicole on a quiet evening. Having dinner with Zac and Aspen. Laughing without thinking about my voice. Moments that once felt ordinary suddenly became extraordinary, not because they changed, but because I did.

That's one of the unexpected gifts of getting older. If we're willing to listen, life keeps inviting us to redefine what matters.

I've come to believe that having more opportunities doesn't automatically create a better life.

Clarity does.

I've met people carrying enormous responsibility who wake up genuinely excited about the life they're building because it reflects who they are and what matters most. I've also met people with every outward advantage who quietly feel trapped by the very life they've created. The difference isn't found in their circumstances. It's found in their alignment. It's the quiet confidence that comes from knowing the life you're building actually belongs to you.

The Question Busyness Can’t Hide

Lately, I've been asking myself a question I can't seem to shake.

If someone followed me around for the last ninety days without hearing a single word I said, would they conclude that I'm becoming freer, or simply becoming busier?

That's an uncomfortable question because busyness is easy to celebrate. We fill every opening on our calendars and convince ourselves we're making progress simply because we're moving. Sometimes we are. Sometimes we're just running faster in a direction we never intentionally chose.

What You Wanted May Not Be What You Need Now

One of the biggest lessons life has taught me is that our definitions shouldn't remain frozen in time. The things I desperately wanted in my thirties aren't necessarily the things I value most today. I still love building businesses. I still love coaching leaders. I still love writing, speaking, and creating. My ambition hasn't faded.

My reason has.

I’m trying to build a life I don’t need a vacation from.

I'm no longer trying to build a life that looks impressive from the outside.

I'm trying to build a life that feels true from the inside.

I wonder how many of us are still chasing a version of life we inherited years ago without ever asking whether it still fits. Maybe it came from our parents. Maybe our profession. Maybe social media. Maybe a younger version of ourselves who simply hadn't experienced enough life yet. Whatever its source, it's worth revisiting. Because the life that motivated you ten or twenty years ago isn't automatically the life that will fulfill you today.

This week we'll celebrate America's independence, and we should. But before the fireworks fade and life returns to its familiar pace, I hope you'll give yourself one quiet hour. Leave your phone inside. Grab a notebook. Sit somewhere peaceful. Then ask yourself a question that might shape the next decade of your life.

Has my definition of freedom changed... and have my decisions changed with it?

Because the life you don't define has a way of defining you.

So define it.

Then have the courage to live it.

Write a future you're excited to live.

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If this letter resonated with you, I think you'll enjoy The 10-Year Letter.

It's a guided process to help you intentionally design the next decade of your life instead of accidentally arriving there.

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