​Are You Living Backwards?

What if success wasn’t about grinding forward—but flipping the formula entirely?

Most people live life like they’re on a travelator, moving forward through society’s checklist: degrees, jobs, houses, marriages. But at the end of the line, many realize they’ve been chasing someone else’s definition of success. Research suggests they’ve been living backwards.

Not because they’re lazy or unmotivated, but because they followed a formula that was never built for fulfillment.

Why the "Have-Do-Be" Formula Fails

The traditional model—Have → Do → Be—is broken.

A study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who prioritize personal growth and meaningful relationships report higher levels of well-being than those fixated on external achievements like financial success. This proves that fulfillment doesn’t come from having things—it comes from being someone aligned with your values.

Society conditions us to chase external markers of success first (Have), hoping they’ll lead to action (Do) and fulfillment (Be). But this approach leaves people feeling incongruous and empty because their actions aren’t aligned with who they truly are.

Reframing the Formula

Flip the script: Be → Do → Have.

• Envision – See your future self clearly—how you think, act, and show up in the world. Example: Picture yourself as someone who radiates confidence in every meeting.

• Embody – Don’t wait for success to change you. Step into that identity now—habits, mindset, decisions.Example: Start speaking up in meetings today, as if you’re already that confident person.

• Evolve – Let your actions refine you. Experience will shape you into the person you’re becoming.Example: Each time you speak up, your confidence grows naturally.

• Expand – As you align with that identity, the right opportunities, people, and resources naturally find you.Example: Confidence attracts promotions or new career paths effortlessly.

This approach taps into possible selves theory, which shows that vividly imagining your future self can pull you forward and drive meaningful change.

The Quantum Approach to Life Design

Here’s where it gets fascinating: Your life isn’t linear—it’s a field of possibilities.

Quantum physics teaches us about superposition, where multiple outcomes exist simultaneously until one is chosen. Similarly, your future is a probability wave waiting for you to collapse it into reality through intentional action.

Your 10-year letter is like Schrödinger’s box—until you write it, all futures exist simultaneously. Writing collapses the wave function into your chosen reality.

Think of it this way: Your future isn’t waiting for you—it’s responding to you.

Reverse Engineering Fulfillment

Instead of chasing external markers of success (Have), start with the feeling (Be). Science backs this up: values-based goal setting increases motivation and well-being because it aligns actions with intrinsic fulfillment.

Here’s how:

• Want confidence? Show up like someone who already trusts themselves.

• Want financial freedom? Make decisions like someone who isn’t desperate for a quick win.

• Want deeper relationships? Engage with people as if connection is already effortless.

The Paradox of Proactive Patience

Here’s the kicker: focusing on “being” doesn’t slow you down—it speeds you up.

It’s not about waiting for success—it’s about actively aligning with the life you want now. When you move like the person who’s already “there,” doors open faster than they ever would through force alone.

The Ultimate Life Hack

Living backwards isn’t just a mindset shift—it’s a fundamental realignment of how you approach life.

Instead of pushing against resistance, you become a gravitational force for the reality you want.

Because here’s the truth:

You’re not writing your future—you’re editing it into existence one present moment at a time.